ken hollander


Thanks for taking the time to visit my website.

If you and your partner or spouse are experiencing repeated conflicts which spiral into a contest about who's right and who's wrong, it's probably time to take a fresh look at how you are communicating with each other. Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) begins with the understanding that we each carry an "Imago," (Latin for image or picture,) which is a composite of the impressions of our early caregivers, their good and their less favorable traits. These traits are stored deep in our brain, where the Imago is held. When we find ourselves strongly attracted to someone in a romantic way, our Imago is activated; in this very appealing person, we find ourselves attracted to the "positive" and familiar traits of our early caregivers as well as to their "negative" traits. It's obvious that we'd be attracted to the positive ones, but the negative ones also hold strong appeal. Why?  Because we want to heal our original childhood wound caused by our caregivers' less-than-positive traits and familiar negative traits are precisely what we need to do that work.  This is fertile ground for the work of Imago Relationship Therapy.

Appointments are available in-person in my Kingston office or online for all residents of New York and Vermont.